Lost In Transition

Here I sit at my computer that I have not used in about four months to post any blogs. I have been very busy working all the overtime I can for a better life but instead it has only given me grief. Thus I am slipping deeper in to debt. The word or should I say words that best describe the way I feel are helpless, frustrated, angry, confused and most of all pissed. At thirty-two years of age after two neck surgeries and now being medicated out the ass just to fucking paint my way in to more debt, I just finding out that my health insurance has been raised to $280.00 robbed from my check each week. Bastards.

So now I ask myself what do I do? The only logical answer is to get a second job until I can learn to reinvent myself and hopefully pursue a career with affordable benefits. This is going to be very difficult since there are very few jobs at all out there. I have already started asking around to places if they are hiring in my travels which so far include Happy Harry's, Acme and Astra Zeneca. Guess what? Yeah, that's right no one is hiring.

For twenty years I have mostly been a painter working with my hands which is why I am going to have a hard time learning anything else including typing and working with computers. That whole teaching an old dog new trick senerio. For some reason I have been thinking about trying to get involved in some sort of forensic work but I don't know if I will be able to handle schooling, my job and my family. Just to inform everyone, one of my stepsons is severely autistic and most people I am sure would not be able to even handle him. All that I can do is try my best and keep plugging forward and try to drag myself out of this muddy world.

My next step is to try to teach myself the right way to type which is going to be hard the way my fingers are from being in construction for so long. So I guess I will try to put aside all distractions; like credit card companies calling me four times a day to try and collect their money. Bastards. They obviously think I am joking or something since they keep calling. They know I have a excellent record for paying on time, but those heartless bastards dont' care. I would imagine most of you are in the same boat, unless you are some of the fortunate few. I don't even answer the fucking phone anymore.

Well I have said enough for now and will leave you with this picture of how I feel.

If anyone has any ideas, suggestions, or other tib bits of unful information....I am all ears.

Rant over.

Back and Neck Pain In My Ass

I am thirty-two years old and married with two step children. (Worse yet, I am married to Malicious Intent.) My profession is a commercial painter and I have had chronic back and neck problems for about twenty long years.

I had my first neck surgery twenty months ago in which the doctors put cadaver (donor) bone, two plates and eight screws into my neck to attempt a fusion.

The surgery was, to say the least very painful and the recovery even tougher. Now almost two years later I find out that the fusion did not work and the only option left is to have surgery, again.

I am getting surgery on October 1 and hope this time it works, there are no guarantees. On top of my PITA neck problem I get more fabulous fucking news that I have two herniated disks in the thorax area of my spine, which the doctor prescribed pain medication for and physical therapy. Therapy did not work and the meds are just a band aide. I then was told to try a cortisone shot in my back. OK, I am game if it will help. It didn't help. Just like the four other injections did not work for my neck. The doctor has no solution and says that surgery is very risky for this area of the spine as there are a lot of vital organs in that area. (As in they would have to deflate a lung to do this one.) At the present time if I do not take my meds I literally cannot function and it is getting increasing hard to walk. I feel like a old man and to make matters even more difficult I have to worka shit load of overtime due to the suck-ass economy. OK I am now done venting and if anybody has a suggestion short of smoking crack please let me know.