Greyhounds or Hell Hounds

If anyone is interested in adopting a greyhound be prepared to go through a lot of unexpected shit including a good old fashioned screwing doggy style. I love animals but these greyhound interrogators (which is what I call them) put you through a bunch of doogy doo just to get to the point of them letting you test the dog out in your house . This still does not guarantee that you will get the dog but it is a good chance that you will continue getting screwed doggy-style by some rather fanatical inquisitors.

First you have to go visit the dog you like at a foster home. Once you fall in love with "that" dog, they then go through your records at your vets of owned animals to make sure they are vaccinated up to date. They also ask for references like family and neighbors. They then bend them over too, questioning them as if they were the FBI. I am truly shocked they did not ask if we had criminal records.

Then the blessed home visit to make sure your house is terrorist proof. This is the step we just completed today and we passed, I think. Although my confidence is slightly shaken as I am married to the #1 computer terrorist of all time malicious intent. (Help me. Someone save me. The esposa won't let me leave the damn house.) You learn fun words while working with immigrants from Peru and Mexico. I have the feeling any dog we get will have an American Latin name for whatever means "doggy style or screwed over." I 'll ask the guys at work. They are always saying something about me and laughing.

So anyhow I must go grocery shopping with esposa to help her with the ninos. Wish me luck because God knows I will need it. Until next time, hasta la vista baby!

Back and Neck Pain In My Ass

I am thirty-two years old and married with two step children. (Worse yet, I am married to Malicious Intent.) My profession is a commercial painter and I have had chronic back and neck problems for about twenty long years.

I had my first neck surgery twenty months ago in which the doctors put cadaver (donor) bone, two plates and eight screws into my neck to attempt a fusion.

The surgery was, to say the least very painful and the recovery even tougher. Now almost two years later I find out that the fusion did not work and the only option left is to have surgery, again.

I am getting surgery on October 1 and hope this time it works, there are no guarantees. On top of my PITA neck problem I get more fabulous fucking news that I have two herniated disks in the thorax area of my spine, which the doctor prescribed pain medication for and physical therapy. Therapy did not work and the meds are just a band aide. I then was told to try a cortisone shot in my back. OK, I am game if it will help. It didn't help. Just like the four other injections did not work for my neck. The doctor has no solution and says that surgery is very risky for this area of the spine as there are a lot of vital organs in that area. (As in they would have to deflate a lung to do this one.) At the present time if I do not take my meds I literally cannot function and it is getting increasing hard to walk. I feel like a old man and to make matters even more difficult I have to worka shit load of overtime due to the suck-ass economy. OK I am now done venting and if anybody has a suggestion short of smoking crack please let me know.